Contents:
a. Who satan is and his merciless
war against God and His creations;
b. God's heart vs. an abuser's
heart
c. SRA - satan takes it one step
further
Who satan is and his merciless war against God and His creations
Scripture points out that satan is a liar, thief and a destroyer. he
wants desperately to hurt God in any way he can. and he is the
continual accuser of God's children. he knows he will ultimately lose
his rebellious war but tries to keep us from reaching out to God. If
we do reach out to God and accept Jesus into our hearts, he tries to
do everything he can to keep us from ever connecting with God in a way
that God desires most - knowing the height, depth, width and breadth
of Jesus' incredibly deep and lavish love for us.
Our
experiential walk of trust with Jesus is the foundation for real
fellowship and sweet intimacy with Him that we are designed as God's
children to enjoy. That fellowship is why God created us in the first
place. To know God and enjoy Him forever. What better assault on God
than to assault the heart of a child before they are old enough to
even know what damage is being done to them?
satan is insideous and can't create anything on his own so
counterfeits everything that God really is, making it easier to reject
God's love and nature if we are hurt by any of his counterfeits. satan
hates it that God has children - and created human beings to be in
loving fellowship with Him. satan can't create; he can't create
children. satan knows God well. he was an angel of light and enjoyed
God's presence before his arrogance and prideful rebellion against
God. satan knows the incredible expanse of God's pure love. he was
there. he basked in that love as the worship leader before his
rebellion (desire to BE God). satan knows if we, as God's children,
get the slightest taste of God's goodness and heart, he will forever
lose any stronghold on our lives.
Who
would refuse such purity, love and security if we experienced just a
taste? The slightest taste of God's pure love would create an
insatiable hunger and thirst for more (like a new couple getting to
know each other - they increasingly spend time together, much to the
exclusion of everyone and everything else). satan sets out to make
sure no one gets that taste - or determines to ruin our connectors
that make matching up with God impossible. And where better to start
than in the trusting, open, vulnerable heart of a child? satan knows
how to hurt God where it hurts - in the hearts of children, created by
God, Himself for His pleasure and our pleasure and good.
God's Heart vs. an abusers heart
When we have been hurt by someone's actions, and then encounter
something that "feels" the same from God, we instinctively
avoid the pain and move away, saying, "No thanks. Been there,
done that." We lose the gifts God has for us because we recoil
from the pain of the last encounter. satan knows he may lose this war
on the eternal destiny of our souls but he tries his best to keep
anyone from accepting God's payment for our sin. Many will accept
Jesus into their hearts but he also knows God IS love. Love permeates
His entire Being. If satan can keep us from breaking through,
separating God's nature from the lies we learned through hurtful
experiences and abuse, satan still wins - I may gain eternal life
through Jesus Christ, but never experience the joy of intimately being
connected to God through Jesus Christ and enjoying the safety,
security and love that He offers me here as His beloved child.
I will
have salvation and a head knowledge of God's goodness but no intimacy;
no joy. God's design is to reveal His nature in the hearts of godly
parents for their children. Godly parents role-model sacrificial love
and trustworthy hearts to children, making it very easy to transfer
their trust to a loving heavenly Father. A child rests in God's
incredible Daddy heart just as they run to their earthly Daddy for
everything.
What better way to really hurt the deepest heart of God than to
destroy the very connectors to God in the tender hearts of children
through sexual abuse? Sexual abuse implants fear of intimacy,
inability to trust, fear of authority, silence, secrecy, betrayal of
love, protection, nurturing, restlessness, and an inability to receive
(or connect to) love, security, value, being cherished, respected,
etc.) in the unsuspecting heart of a trusting child. It is soul
murder.
The enemy of our souls thinks if he can use the unhealed wounds in
another person to assault a child sexually, that child loses all
connectors to God's open invitation to intimacy with Him. satan
forgets, though, the magnitude of God's power and gentle strength in
rebuilding what was thought permanently ruined through abuse. satan
mocks God for being patient, gentle, merciful, loving and kind.
Through sexual abuse, a child learns to distrust all of these offers.
But God knows love conquers all. He patiently waits for us to struggle
over separating out His pure love over the "love" we've been
force-fed in abuse as children.
My difficulty in this journey is that God's ways seem so
similar to the abusers. But - His heart is in NO way the same as
abusers! Knowing His heart is what sets us free. Learning to
trust what He reveals about Himself in Scripture and accepting that as
Truth about what He is like (not what was role-modeled or what we were
told). The Truth is, God is in control. His love is available as I
learn to trust Him. He is the Potter, I am the clay. He wants me
moldable, pliable in His hands. He makes the rules. I learn to live by
them to experience the fullest of His goodness for me. Trust is the
basis for my relationship with Him. That means I risk first. (I can
tell you all day that I am trustworthy but you will never experience
that unless you take a risk with me. Only my response to your risk
will tell you if I am trustworthy. When you take increasing risks with
me, you find me increasingly trustworthy and we are build a history
of trust. It is the same way with God.)
As I
dare risk with God and find Him faithful, I have the courage to risk
again. I can look back on this history of trust when facing a
deeper risk - and say, "He was faithful all these other times, I
will dare to risk with Him on this issue." God's heart is
faithful and true. Scripture gives us the foundation by telling us the
truth of God's faithfulness and loving kindness. I don't begin my
adventure with Him until I start taking risks with Him to find out for
myself that He is faithful and good to ME. God's heart is pure love.
God is patient. He desires the BEST for me.
As I said, it seems God's
ways are so similar to the abusers. The huge difference is their
hearts. Their motives. Their intents toward me. God teaches that He is
in control. I am not. I hear that and my history (or past) rises up
and says, "I will never let anyone control me ever again!!!"
God understands my wounded heart and doesn't force me. But the truth
of Who He is will never change. I need to change my resistance to
embrace God's truth. The huge difference is His heart. God is
in no way an abuser. His heart cannot be bad in any single facet. He
is pure love, complete truth, fully trustworthy, full of mercy, grace
and compassion. He is gentle strength.
The enemy uses sexual abuse to terrify us of someone being in control,
of requiring that we embark on an adventure of risking and trusting
(building a history of trust with God), of becoming increasingly
dependent and vulnerable as a child. "We've been there, done
that, and learned never to let down our guard lest the pain devour us
again." God knows that becoming like little children and trusting
Him (in His love, might, power and Fatherhood) is the only way into
the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth. He will forever be our Father,
our Daddy.
As
His children, He longs for us to run TO Him, not away from Him. He
wants to expose all the areas we run away from Him and let us risk
learning to trust Him there and find Him trustworthy. If I really knew
the depths of God's love for me in those areas I run from Him, I
wouldn't run away, I would run to Him with my fears and hurts,
trusting in His love above all else. Sexual abuse ruins the natural
inclination of a child to run to the safety of God's loving arms.
Parenting is God's means to make it easy for a child to trust God. But
when sexual abuse comes in, those connectors to godly role-modeling of
love are destroyed.
An abuser's heart is incredibly wicked. He demands. He demands to be
in control. An abuser demands the trust of a child. An abuser tries to
steal, not redeem, the soul of a child. An abuser ravages the
innocence of a child. An abuser uses a child to satisfy themselves.
(God is NOT like this! But satan is! - beware). An abuser doesn't know
the meaning of the word love. It's been destroyed in them a long time
ago. They've surrendered to the deceitful ploys of satan and are fully
deceived. As a result, children lose every connector they are
naturally born with to connect to a loving, trusting relationship to a
loving, trustworthy God and Father. Our only solace is that God is far
bigger than satan.
God
allows the tender spirit of a child to be preserved in dissociation
and splitting so that the abuser cannot take that from the child. God
keeps what only belongs to God (our spirit) until we can make that
choice for Him later on. The abusers want to own our souls. What grace
that God allows us to creatively hide the core of our being
from the abusers! God waits until we are older and patiently begins to
woo our hearts with His love. He helps us tear down those defenses
(from abuse), restore our fragmented will and God, Himself, restores
the connectors to His love experientially.
It
means confronting much pain and many lies we've believed about
ourselves from the abuse. Lies we've believed about God, our abusers
and others. It means hanging onto God for increasing revelation of
God's heart for us and daring to risk when my whole insides scream of
the anguish of past risking and trusting people. But God's heart is
not at all like the abusers. Only as I test that out, will I begin to
taste the goodness of God that satan meant to permanently destroy in
my heart as a child.
What
testimonies of God's gentle strength when children survive such abuse
(mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually), and still,
ultimately become tender, vulnerable, dependent children of God,
trusting in and relying on God ! ! for everything like a child does
with a godly parent!!!! God's love conquers all. Perfect love casts
out fear. Love heals deep wounds and restores ravages souls. Love
rebuilds the most broken heart. It's the complete devestation of
satan's plans for us. God's purposes and plans for us, His children
are far greater than the enemy can ever bring to fruition. We are
trophies of God's immense grace and powerful redemptive love.
I long for the day when, as the fruits of my healing visible for all
to see and enjoy, satan is sorry for ever touching me!! I am in
passionate pursuit of dwelling in sweet fellowship and intimacy with
Jesus and God my Father. I look forward to moving back the gates of
hell and seeing the wounded restored out of passionate devotion to the
One who restored my shattered soul. The enemy lost when he touched me
with such devastation. What satan meant for pure evil, God, in the
richness of His pure love, has redeemed and restored for my good and
eternal joy!
SRA - satan takes it one step further
In SRA, satan builds on the platform of sexual abuse and further
counterfeits every good gift God has given to us to remind us of His
love and truth of who He IS. The very good things of baptism,
reconciliation at His altar, communion, His lavish love for us in His
voluntary and sinless death on the cross, His extraordinary
demonstration of incredible might and power in His resurrection
defeating death while offering grace and redemption in glorious power
-- these are all hideously counterfeited.
When,
later in life, I encounter these life-changing truths in my
relationship with Jesus and Scripture, old wounds build a barricade of
defense against the pain I already experienced in the counterfeits. I
may keep a wonderful "head" knowledge of those truths, but
lost my connector to it through the incredible pain endured in the
counterfeits and abuse. I can't possibly allow that pain to be
experienced, so I refuse the gifts God has because they remind me of
that pain. It's not a conscious decision on my part; it's automatic.
It will ultimately become my choice, my decision as God patiently
lavishes love on me and gently breaks down my defense system and woos
me to dare trust Him in increasing measure to be different than the
abusers.
