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DAZE OF OUR LIVES
Depression -
Ishmael Paranoia - How to Boost Faith -
Praise-Fest
(Here's
some great reading for Elijahs who are just resting under the juniper
tree.)
God's saints accomplish great things while
staggering around in dazed bewilderment. 'By faith,' says Scripture,
'Abraham, ... went out, not knowing whither he went.' (Hebrews 11:8 ) 'I
go bound in the Spirit to Jerusalem,' said Paul, 'not knowing the things
that shall befall me there.' (Acts 20:22) The disciples were frequently
stunned or mystified by Christ's words and behavior. The psalmists were
forever asking, 'Why?' (Eg. Psalm 10:1; 22:1; 42:9; 43:2; 44:23; 74:1;
88:14) And in the midst of his suffering, Job didn't have a clue what
was going on.
The curtains are often drawn in God's waiting room. It's exciting to
gaze ahead, but faith grows best in the dark. Life in the sunshine is so
exhilarating that we seldom notice our faith beginning to droop. It's
when things are dim, that spiritual life mushrooms.
Dark mysteries bring great blessings. At the close of the year that saw
the death of his newborn son and then the death of his wife and then
assaults on his own health, Hudson Taylor wrote, 'This was the most
sorrowful and most blessed year of my life.' When it's sunny we want to
run off and play. It's when it's darkest that we hold Father's hand the
tightest.
In the gloom, qualities like faith, grit, and dedication, are stretched
to limits we have never before reached. Yet life seems so oppressive we
are oblivious to our triumphs.
In pristine conditions eyes of faith can see forever. When storms close
in, it is a mammoth task for those same eyes to even slightly pierce the
swirling murk. It is the conditions, not you, that have deteriorated.
Contrary to every feeling, you are not regressing.
Though offered with the best intentions, much sentimental waffle is
sometimes uttered about returning to one's 'first love', as if the
starry-eyed euphoria of new Christians is greater than the mature depths
of your average older Christian. Poppycock! Most spiritual honeymooners
are radiant primarily because they think they have entered a blissful
world of near-perfect Christians, instant answers to selfish prayers and
a life forever free from pain, heartache and trials. Theirs is most
likely mere puppy love, relative to the ardor moving you to tough it
out.
Never confuse devotion with emotion. Though I'm all for emotional
exuberance, the Bible measures love, not in tingles per second, but in
putting one's life on the line. (1 John 3:16-18) It's pain endured in
the valley, not gooey feelings in the afterglow of mountaintop ecstasy,
that validates love. By all means, passionately seek the face of God,
but don't assume that emotional deadness - a normal phase of anyone's
spiritual life - implies spiritual deadness. We march by faith, not by
warm fuzzies.
An athlete, in the midst of a record-breaking run, has never in his life
been so fit and strong. Yet his pain-racked body may have never felt so
weak. Likewise, in the midst of a spiritual trial, it is not uncommon to
be stronger and yet feel weaker than ever before. And to fellow
Christians you might seem hopeless. An ultra-marathon champion
staggering up the final hill looks pathetic. A child could do better.
Anyone not understanding what this man has gone through would shrink
from him in disgust. Only someone with all the facts would be awed by
his stamina as he stumbles on.
You've hit so many brick walls, it's no wonder your nose is out of
joint. Life seems hopeless. Every day it feels you've slumped another
notch. To maintain even a glimmer of faith in such darkness is a
spectacular victory. It may take everything you've got just to hold on.
But do it. You are pumping spiritual iron.
If your blossom is dying, it's so that the fruit can grow. Remember the
cripple at the temple gate: he hoped for alms and got legs. (Acts 3:1-3)
Creator God loves surprises. And he loves you.
Earth sees us flattened on the wrestling
ring canvas in faith's fight. Heaven sees us forming on the canvas of
the Great Artist. Half-completed works of art look ugly.
All that matters, however, is the
finished masterpiece. Forget appearances. Yield to the Artist. The
result will be breath-taking.
DEPRESSION
William Carey's relentless succession of achievements in the face of
oppression suggests he was no more deterred by tragedies than a
locomotive by butterflies. I was stunned to learn that this amazing
missionary pioneer sometimes suffered what one biographer called 'sheer
black depression'.
C. H. Spurgeon, revered as last century's greatest Baptist preacher, was
so plagued by discouragement, depression, fatigue and illness that he
tendered his resignation thirty-two times in thirty-nine years.
Interestingly, he gradually discovered that such lows always seemed to
precede new times of empowering for ministry.
A modern preacher, world-famous for his emphasis on possibility
thinking, sat dejected on a building site and pronounced the
death-sentence on his pet project. 'You can't give up,' gasped his
advisers, 'the whole world is looking at you!'
'If only I could have a good old-fashioned heart attack and fail with
dignity,' was his pathetic reply.
Such grim anecdotes charge me with hope. If past heroes and modern
champions of positive thinking can have such bouts, I need not let the
Accuser belittle me just because I am appallingly negative at times. For
twenty-four-year-old David Brainerd, thrilling experiences in God's
presence were regularly interspersed with deep bouts of melancholy in
which he despaired of ever achieving anything in God's service. Three
years later, an unprecedented outpouring of the Spirit upon American
Indians erupted after his preaching. This move coincided with a time
when the clammy clouds of dejection were so thick that he was seriously
contemplating ending his missionary endeavors.
A. B. Simpson - that highly respected missionary statesman, exceptional
preacher, and founder of the Christian and Missionary Alliance - was yet
another great achiever who 'was always susceptible to periods of
despair.' Though his highs soared to supernatural visions, they did not
prevent his lows.
I don't make excuses. Having the disposition of a professional prune
taster is nothing to boast about. Depression usually marks lost faith in
the One with whom I have entrusted my future. It dishonors the One who
floods my life with endless love and manipulates for good everything
that touches me. When I'm low, however, the last thing I need is
despondency about my despondency. Though we slide on a downer, that does
not make us losers. A horde of spiritual giants have been on the slide
before us and lived to excel.
Take heart from the man exalted as Scripture's prime example of faith.
(Romans 4; Galatians 3:6-9; Hebrew 11:8-19; James 2:21-23) In an early
chapter of Genesis, God tells Abraham on two separate occasions that he
will give him the land and descendants. (Genesis 12:2,7) Just four
verses later we find Abraham humiliating Sarah, denying that she is his
wife. In cowardly deceit, he stands dumbly by as Pharaoh marries Sarah
and takes her into his harem. (Genesis 12:10-16) Next chapter, God yet
again details the promise of land and descendants. (Genesis 13:14-17)
Nevertheless, two chapters on, we find Abraham expecting to die
childless. For a fourth time God insists he will give Abraham
descendants. At last the old fossil believes. The Lord, thrilled with
Abraham's refound faith, repeats his vow to give him the land. In
disbelief, Abraham asks for a sign. (Genesis 15:2-8) With divine
patience God dramatically shows the mighty man of faith not only his
future descendants, but what will happen to them.
In the next chapter we find our faith
model throwing away any hope of a miracle from God. He resorts to
dubious natural means to forcibly accomplish what God seems unwilling to
do. He bypasses his wife and turns to her maid for a baby. (Genesis
16:1-3) Years later, the Lord yet again reaffirms his promise to Abraham
and declares that Sarah would conceive. Abraham laughs. He is sure his
wife has more potential as an Egyptian mummy than as a Hebrew one.
'She's too old. Just bless Ishmael,' is the crux of his reply. (Genesis
17:17-18) Yet the Lord persists. One more time our hero gropes for that
slippery fish called faith. Before long, he is again passing off Sarah
as his sister, showing more faith in his powers of deception than in
God's integrity. This time it is King Abimelech who almost has a go at
impregnating Sarah. (Genesis 20:2-3) Just weeks later, (Assuming Genesis
18:10 to 21:2 are in chronological order.) she conceived Abraham's baby.
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Faith is not a non-stop flight above
reality; it's a fight. What distinguishes people of faith is not how
rarely they hit the dirt, but how often they get up again. To be
perpetually positive is impossible. The mere attempt embroils us in
prayer battles and Abrahamic effort. The enemy often flees to his
corner, only to prepare for the next round. You might even have climbed
out of the ring, but the reward for getting back in exceeds anything
anyone could offer.
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'Lord, increase our faith,' pleaded the
disciples.
'If you have faith the size of a mustard seed ...' came the reply. (Luke
17:5-6)
Perhaps our greatest need is not huge faith, but to fully use our small
faith. Perhaps we miss out because we devalue our faith, not using it to
the fullest because we wrongly imagine that tiny faith is too
insignificant to move the hand of God. If faith is more valuable than
gold, (1 Peter 1:7) the merest speck is too precious to despise. Do not
let feelings of inadequacy strangle your faith. Just keep pressing on.
Past greats achieved much with floundering faith. So can you.
Like everyone, my faith levels fluctuate. Usually I am aware that a few
moments dwelling on faith-building truths or squashing negative thoughts
would boost my faith a little, but I foolishly let myself remain at a
lower faith level than I know I am capable of. I have failed to take
faith as seriously as Scripture does. If it is as valuable as Scripture
affirms, then only a fool would pass up an opportunity to slightly
increase it. If our Lord valued faith at a dollar, then a one percent
increase is not worth bothering about. What can you do with a cent? If
common faith is of immense value, however, everything changes. On a
million dollars, one percent is $10,000 - well worth a little effort!
ISHMAEL PARANOIA
Among the lessons to be learnt through Abraham becoming a father is not
that we should do nothing and leave it all to God. Had this been
Abraham's attitude, the miracle would never have happened. The key lay
not in doing nothing, but in doing the right thing - trying yet again to
fill a barren womb.
We can be so paranoid about conceiving an Ishmael, that we fail to
produce an Isaac. To stop trying for a child through Sarah would have
been just as devoid of faith as using her maid.
Faith is leaving the security of inactivity and deliberately exposing
ourselves to the painful possibility of defeat. It is Jonathan and his
armor-bearer going out to meet the enemy; not his comrades hiding in
holes hoping for a miracle. (1 Samuel 14:1-15) It's Peter saying, 'If
that's you, Lord, bid me come ... ,' and then stepping out of the boat.
(Matthew 14:28-29) It's that same fisherman saying, 'Lord, we've toiled
all night and caught nothing. Nevertheless, at your word ...' (Luke 5:5)
It is Paul, once again facing a hostile crowd. It is you, trying one
more time.
Faith is fundamental to all Christian service. (Mark 11:24; John 14:12;
Galatians 3:2-3; Hebrews 4:2; 11:6; James 1:6-7; 1 John 5:4) Like a
seedling, it should constantly grow. (2 Corinthians 10:15; 2
Thessalonians 1:3) It is easier on ourselves if we start exercising
faith now, in minor things, than to expect to pluck out of the air
mountain-moving faith when it is critically needed in ministry.
A delay either quickens your faith to rise to the challenge, or it's a
dead wait.
HOW TO BOOST FAITH
I can easily believe the atom-holding, earth-spinning,
galaxy-sustaining, life-giving Source of everything wonderful can do
whatever he likes. Even the devil believes it. My difficulty is
believing that his special love for me makes him long to use that power
on my behalf.
Few of us doubt that God can do amazing things. The weak link in our
faith is believing that he would do such things for ordinary,
inconsequential you and me. We suspect that in the Almighty's eyes we
are not sufficiently special to warrant such attention. Oh yes, 'God
loves everyone,' but we have a hunch that by the time that love reaches
us it has spread pretty thin. I'm just one of millions. Why would God
want to focus his omnipotence on me?
If we could grasp the enormity of God's love for us, our faith would
sky-rocket. Pray for a revelation. (The necessity of divine revelation
is highlighted by Paul's prayer that the Ephesians 'comprehend ... and
know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge' (Ephesians 3:18-19).)
Awareness of how much we are loved is forever slipping from our
consciousness. Partially in sight for a few days, it begins to fade
again. The following suggestions might help.
When we let God down - even if we really foul things up - picture the
proudest father the world has seen. The baby screams, dribbles and soils
itself, yet Dad still glows with pride. God is like that.
When you feel a tiny blob in the seething mass of humanity, see the
shepherd of a hundred sheep frantically searching for one. If he can be
personally concerned for one, the omnipotent Shepherd of our souls can
love all humanity and still be devoted to you. In the beautiful words of
Isaiah, 'As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God
rejoice over you.' (Isaiah 62:5)
When you feel you can do nothing right, picture a child, paintbrush in
hand, gleaming with excitement. Enveloping her hand is the gentle hand
of the world's greatest artist. 'And what shall we put in this corner?'
asks the man, as his skill and the girl's imagination merge into one.
See the artist's smile and the child's delight as together they create
stunning beauty. Under God's guiding hand, your possibilities are
mind-boggling.
No matter how you feel, you are the focus of God's attention; doted on
as though you are the only friend God has. If ever a man wanted to
shower his bride with love, or his son with gifts, God longs to lavish
you with his extravagance. Expect great things from God. Anything less
is an insult to your almighty Savior. With your Lord impossibilities are
playthings.
Let faith mushroom by seizing the fact that the Omnipotent Lord is
powerful enough to use you - over-riding your every inadequacy - and
loving enough to want to. And believe that though he may lovingly delay
your mission, his timing is perfect. Everything God touches is destined
for glory. Even now, you are God's 'filthy rags to heavenly riches'
success story.
The Kingdom needs prayer warriors, not prayer worriers. No matter how
much you cry, beg, and wish, you have not moved from superstition to
authentic Christian prayer until you can thank God for the answer,
knowing it is yours before you hold it in your hand. Faith is not
thinking that God can; it is knowing that he will. (Mark 11:24; James
1:5-8)
You will see it when you believe it.
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PRAISE-FEST
Paul's patience was at breaking point. Day after day, wherever they
went, the demonized slave-girl kept shrieking that Paul and Silas were
God's servants. Then, in a moment of desperation, he did it. He expelled
the demon. And his greatest fears froze to excruciating reality. (Acts
16:16-24)
They were arrested, tortured and thrown in prison. Incarcerated like
common criminals? No such luck. It was the maximum security block for
them. Everything pointed to a painfully long stay.
Put ourselves in Paul's stocks and our thoughts might be something like:
'What an ant-brain! I walked right into Satan's trap! Things were going
so well - converts were being baptized, Lydia had opened her house to us
- and like a twit I blew it! Now I've been flogged. Poor Silas is in
agony. Both of us are in the slammer, no longer free to preach the
Gospel. All because of me! If only I'd kept my cool ...'
I'd have been as miserable as an elephant with sinusitis.
Yet instead of berating himself or being bullied by pain, the apostle
sang praises. Almost instantly, tragedy yielded potent ministry. Not
only was the Lord blessed and fellow prisoners touched, the jailer and
all his family were converted. Praise turned misery into ministry.
Praise snaps locks. If a door to ministry slams, praise can burst open
another.
If you think praise is hot air, you are right. It's the hot air that
makes faith balloon, lifting us to new heights in God, while warming the
Father's heart.
Praise is life-changing. I could extol it for pages, but singing its
praises is often easier than singing praises. It takes enormous energy
for a space vessel to blast off from earth on its way to another world.
At it continues to leave earth's gravitational pull, however, progress
gets easier and easier until it is actually pulled along by the heavenly
body it is headed for. With praise, too, it is the first part of the
journey that is so demanding. The wonders of the rest of the voyage,
however, makes the sometimes-huge initial effort so worthwhile.
The less we feel like praising, the more we need its power. I suspect
Paul used a couple of tricks to break through despair into victorious
praise.
Paul and Silas had so mingled worship with life's humdrum that when
things soured, their lips were still warm with his praises. There was no
groping for a half-forgotten praise vocabulary; no brain-racking to find
something praiseworthy in God. Praise was not a pill in their emergency
kit; it was their way of life.
If one of their helps was habit, the second was song. When praise is a
struggle, melody and beautiful words can bear us forward.
A third help was fellowship. They joined their praises. Where possible,
do the same.
My next suggestion, like the others, is far from original. Multitudes
have found that it works. Don't try to start at the top; just find a few
reasons to be grateful. Things could be worse. Thank God they're not.
Thank him that things have not always been as dire as they now seem.
Lean heavily on tiny blessings. As they multiply in your head, they will
provide a rich array of praise material.
You can even turn negative tendencies into an asset. We all need
reminders to praise throughout the day. If your mind regularly clogs
with negative thoughts, train yourself to use each recurrence of doubt
or fear or gloom as a reminder to praise God. Each negative thought is
packed with potential praise material. If, for instance, you are hounded
by the thought that you are getting older, let it nudge you to thank God
for the years he has given you. Praise him that your times are in his
hands. Take comfort that at least someone is older than you - God - and
revel in the knowledge that he will never fall for modern society's
infatuation with youth. Every time you feel old, rejoice that Jacob was
in his nineties when he had his all-night wrestling match with an angel.
(Joseph was 30 when he began serving Pharaoh (Genesis 41:46). When Jacob
arrived in Egypt about nine years later (Genesis 41:48,53,54; 45:11),
Joseph was 130 (Genesis 47:9). Jacob was therefore about 91 years older
than Joseph, and the time between Joseph's birth and Jacob's wrestle was
long enough for him to engage in an extensive animal breeding program
(Genesis 30:25-28,31-32; 31:7-9).) Exalt the One who empowered
eighty-five-year-old Caleb to conquer the enemies' mountain strongholds,
(Joshua 14:10-15; 15:13-15) gave Job his greatest blessings in his
latter years, (Job 42:12) and bypassed millions to show the Christ child
to elderly Anna. (Luke 2:36-38)
Yet if being filled with the joy of the Lord were as easy as flicking a
switch, there are still times when we would prefer to sulk. Forgetting
that it is faith, not tears, that most moves our Lord, we secretly hope
that if we are sufficiently miserable, he will have pity on us. That's
like trying to scale a mountain by digging a hole. Praise achieves
things self-pity or self-recrimination could never do.
'I will give you all my praise,' I sang in a congregational song.
Suddenly I realized I had lied. Every time I grumble I am praising the
devil. Every complaint is an insult to God.
For balance, however, listen to Psalm 13. This dirge opens with, 'How
long will you forget me, Lord? Forever?' With similar moans in the next
few verses, the ancient blues singer continues his sob story. Then, just
when we know where he is heading, he suddenly slams his song into
reverse and declares, 'I will sing unto the Lord, for he has dealt
bountifully with me.' The tail end of that little psalm looks as out of
place as a fan of peacock feathers on the end of a pig. Yet no matter
how odd it seems, psalm after psalm confirms that we can mingle praise
with our pain. These inspired prayers prove that our Lord wants us to
vent on him our grief and frustration. He wants honesty, not denial, and
still he wants our praise.
Try hard enough and in every circumstance we can find reason to complain
and reason to rejoice. To praise is to feast on the goodness of God. To
complain is to languish in the squalor of self.
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It's your choice to rejoice
Or to blame and complain.
To sing a refrain
Or refrain to sing
Is to gain new ground,
Or go round and round.
Raise your praise
Or weep in defeat;
Make the gain
Or remain the same.
Curse and be worse;
Praise and be raised.
It's you who choose
To win or lose.
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To praise is to party. It is cutting the
cords to earthly burdens and heading for heaven's joys. It infuriates
the devil because it not only plucks us out of the misery he had
meticulously planned, it lets us sneak into the victory celebration
ahead of time. To praise is to cheat the devil, laugh in his face and
step into God's time machine.
Praise magnifies God. The alternative magnifies the problem. The last
thing we need is a 'small' God and large problems! What will we choose
to exalt: the mighty, eternal God, or the puny, temporary problem?
Praise pricks bloated problems by empowering us to glimpse the enormity
of God.
Build muscle on your faith by constantly praising God, delighting in his
answer ahead of time. It takes the wait off your mind.
The Lord bless you, dear friend!
Grantley
www.net-burst.net
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