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Having a good father, who is a
spiritual father, is one of our greatest needs.
In my opinion,
one of our greatest problems today is that people are going into life, into
ministry or leadership of some kind without ever having been mentored or
fathered themselves. I believe that the role of fathers today has been degraded
in the public eye to the point that we have almost lost the vision for the
critical role fathers play. Appropriate affectionate touch and
affirmation, from a good father who is a spiritual father, are probably the
largest factors in building strong personal spirits into our lives. Without the
affirmation of our fathers, we will wander looking for our identity in many
other places and perform for acceptance. Here are some thoughts about good
spiritual fathers.
It is on our father's knee that we learn that we are the apple of his eye - and
God's eye. We learn that we are a delight, a pleasure and that we are
desirable to be with. He communicates our value as a contributing member
of the family, the community and the body of Christ. Being received by
him, gives us the confidence we need to live fully out of our true identity.
We have courage, based on what our Heavenly Father says about us instead of
performing to win the approval of everyone else.
We are not lured into sin with flattery, because our Father has affirmed our God
given purpose, gifting, talent and callings in life. We are secure in
bonded relationships and able to trust God when Satan's cheap easy counterfeits
come along to lure us with empty promises. We are able to minister out of health
and stability that is based on God's truth.
If you have been blessed with such a Father, please let him know how fortunate
you are. If you are hurting as you read this, its not too late
to ask God for a spiritual father (or mother) to re-parent you and love you with
God's agape love. Ask God for discernment to know who has a fathering
heart, so you will be blessed and loved to life (vs. rejected again.)
ASK
GOD TO BLESS YOU WITH A GOOD SPIRITUAL FATHER TOO!
You can pray for your own father or
spiritual father by loosing him from fleshly traits and binding him to the heart
of God and to His character.
If you have been hurt by an uncaring religious leader, ask God for a good father
who is a true spiritual father. If you are afraid to choose one for
yourself, the following comparison between a spiritual father and someone who is
just a religious leader, may help you to discern a true father and their
motivations. Some of these thoughts are taken from the book, "Mentoring
and Fathering" by Schultz and Gaborit and some from "Restoring the Christian
Family" by John Sandford.
|
GOOD
SPIRITUAL FATHER |
"FLESHLY
FATHER" |
|
|
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Takes his childhood wounds to Jesus
for healing |
Takes his hurts out of the nearest
person |
|
Takes his fleshly
reactions to the cross |
Automatic reactions w/o
leading of the Spirit |
|
Forgives others, God
and himself |
Holds resentment,
judgments, bitterness |
|
Takes responsibility
for sins he sown |
Blames others for what
he is reaping |
|
Honors
and respects his authorities |
Undermines his own
authority with dishonor |
|
Is flexible and led of
the Holy Spirit |
Under fleshly inner
vows in his own strength |
|
Believes the best,
believes in you |
Has bitter expectations
that you will fail again |
|
Confesses the sins of
his fathers |
Repeats the sins of his
fathers and more |
|
Touch,
time, gifts, help, on your side |
Loves you the way he
wants to receive love |
|
Hears God, is in
agreement with Mom |
Controls, dominates,
competes, pouts |
|
Appreciates/respects
the opposite sex |
Undermines
feminine contributions |
|
Encourages you for your own good |
Flatters you and manipulates for his
agenda |
|
Finds time to be available to you |
Is too busy to spend quality time |
|
Will bless you when you are led to
leave |
Will cut you off if you are led to
move on |
|
Prays for you without ceasing |
Will pray if you ask him |
|
Willingly imparts spiritual gifts and
wisdom |
Doesn't want to lose (spiritual)
advantage |
|
Sees potential gifts, talents &
callings in you |
Only sees you as you are now |
|
Trusts you to step out (with room to
fail) |
Will not release you for fear of your
failure |
|
Isn't afraid to discipline or correct
you |
Will either avoid correction or will
over react |
|
Has a heart to restore the
brokenhearted |
Withdraws from high
maintenance children |
|
Will pay a debt they do not owe |
Will hold your debts over your head |
|
Will fellowship with other fathers |
Will hide from
accountability to his peers |
|
Moves toward the current move of God |
Weds you to his beliefs,
past moves |
|
Is not threatened by your other
relationships |
Tries to control who you hear and who
you serve |
|
Teaches you dependence on God
also |
Keeps you
dependent on him |
|
Teaches you Truth
from God's Word |
Teaches you his
doctrinal bias |
|
Has the heart of a
true worshipper of God |
"Attends" or sends
you to a worship service |
|
Is happy when you succeed more
than he |
Is threatened when you succeed
more than he |
|
Has the 'team' concept of
service |
Has a 'golfer caddy' idea of
your service |
|
Makes you feel comfortable /
protected |
Threatens to expose you or
attack you |
|
Helps, wanting nothing in
return |
Expects something for helping
you |
|
Willing to admit his
weaknesses |
Will not admit weakness or
mistakes |
|
Is interested in what you are
doing |
Only what he is doing / his
vision |
|
Is relationship oriented and
sensitive |
Is task oriented |
|
Communicates well and listens
well |
Feels bothered and put upon by
you |
|
Hears God and leads by the
Holy Spirit |
Influences or controls for his
own agenda |
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